Save my marriage is a call that seems to be shouted more and more these days. Most of us believe that our marriages are worth saving, but we just don’t know how. There is one key that ranks above all the rest. One skill that must be practiced everyday: Communication. Our world is a connected through communication. There is the power of the internet, instant messaging, emailing, blogging, and cell phones. So why is it that marriage seems to suffer most from communication problems?

Perhaps it is because gradually we are learning to communicate better and better in a cyber world and less and less face to face. Many of us can carry on a conversation for hours over email or text messaging but put us in a room with an actual person and we stutter at what to say. We have to practice communicating face to face. Marriage relationships are not built in cyber space, they are built interacting with each other in our person daily lives.

Communicating is the idea of telling someone else what is going on in your heart and mind. That can be difficult to convey in words and often fall short but the attempt will bring you closer together and the more you try the more you understand. Explaining ideas with one another brings an intellectual bond. Sharing feelings with one another brings an emotional bond. Lastly, sharing the day’s happenings will bring you together socially.

Communication isn’t something you can put on the back burner and wait for it to fix itself. You have to work every day on it and give an honest effort to improvement. Being able to talk to each other doesn’t just happen when you make your vows or buy a house. Communicating with each other takes practice. Both parties need to learn what to say and how to say it.

Try these three tips to improve your communication. Look at your partner when they are talking. Try to face them in the eyes not just in their general direction. Tell stories but make sure they aren’t so long and drawn out that anyone would lose interest. Finally, acknowledge what the speaker is saying by asking questions, nodding, commenting every once in a while, just make sure the speaker know what you are listening. Communication in a marriage is vital and there is nothing that will replace it.

Technorati Tags: General Save a Marraige Tips, How to Stop Divorce, save my marriage today

These ten things will destroy your marriage. Avoid them like the plague. Building a strong marriage is full of do’s and do not’s. Sometimes looking at things to avoid is as strengthening as studying the things to do. You’re marriage should be valued and cherished, never let something else come and de-throne that priority.

1- Stop Saying I love you- This is simple but profound. These three words not only express how you feel but they show your spouse that those feeling you have are strong enough to carry you to action. When you stop saying I love you it is easy to forget what too often is just assumed in married couple. That they really do love each other.
2- Entertain Immoral Thoughts- Thoughts like these destroy the respect you have for your wife. Intimacy isn’t a public thing it is between you and your one and only.
3- Stop really listening- Want to ruin a good thing, multitask while you are listening to your wife or husband. When your ears tune them out so will your heart. You are showing them that they are only worth half of your effort or that something else ranks as highly as they do.
4- Yell- Raising your voice only brings out defense tactics. Keep a cool calm voice and your point will be heard
5- Accuse- blame your spouse for everything and make them the enemy in your argument. You can ask them to change something they do but don’t accuse them and insult them while you do.
6- Lie- Lying to your spouse is a sure fire way to take three steps backwards in your marriage. You have worked long and hard for their trust; don’t destroy that in one simple situation.
7- Work All Your Time- Don’t spend so much time trying to make a living that you forget to make a life. Take time for what really matters.
8- Remember Old Wrongs- People change and grow, we expect others to realize that about us but often forget that principal with those we love most. Let your spouse change. Don’t bring up old wrongs to prove a point, let them change and move on.
9- Don’t be overly sensitive- Don’t expect your spouse to never disagree or offend you. Those are unreal expectations, be open instead to their opinion trying as hard as possible to not take it personally.
10- Expect ESP- Expecting your spouse to read your mind will never help. If you want them to know something tell them don’t expect them to just know if you have never said anything to them.

Marriage takes work and caution but the rewards a good strong marriage brings are endless. Make a commitment together that you will in the future avoid these so you have more time to do constructive activities.

Technorati Tags: How to Stop Divorce, save marriage stop divorce, save your marriage

Boy meets girl. They go out on a few dates. Their mutual attraction blossoms into friendship. From friendship, love grows and the couple decides to share their lives together. They get married. They have a few children. And somewhere, as the years go by, that friendship, respect, and love is overpowered by anger, resentment, and eventual divorce. Many couples even wonder why they got divorced in the first place, finding it difficult to pinpoint exactly when their bond began to unravel. Others may find fault with their spouse, thus blaming them for the marriage ending. How can two people who once loved each other; two people who shared their hopes, dreams, and lives together go from marital bliss to divorce? How can you save your marriage and stop divorce?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, more than half of marriages end in divorce. In fact, less people are getting marriage according to U.S. Today. Citing the fear of divorce as the chief reason for postponing or even avoiding marriage, they report that 62% of Americans were married in 1990 whereas only half of Americans are married today. Dr. James Long, a published author and marriage counselor, says the reasons for increased divorce rates can be attributed to mobility, affluence, and isolation. Mobility: Traditionally, people lived and died in the place they were born; therefore, marrying people they grew up with and, as such, shared similar lifestyles and ideals. Today, however, many people travel to other states for school or work meeting a variety of people who come from diverse backgrounds. Affluence: In times past, couples relied on each other for survival since resources were limited. Each worked together to maintain homes, provide for the family, as well as each other’s personal needs. Yet, with today’s abundance, says Dr. Long, people are less reliant on each other for basic needs such as housing, food, clothing, or even entertainment and fulfillment. Isolation: With increased technology mediums, such as the Internet, people are more isolated from each other than ever before. “People live in isolation these days,” says Dr. Long. “[As such] they do not get to observe others and see how actions have long term consequences. Instead, they live in an unrealistic dream world created by fiction entertainment, journalism, and advertising. As a result, they have world views that are more conducive to causing disasters in the physical world that their bodies live in,” he says.
While Dr. Long’s explanation may be too broad and simplistic, it provides a base for why many marriages result in divorce. Exploring this concept further, here are six common reasons why many marriages fail:

• Assuming instead of asking—failure to communicate. There is a reason why a catchy phrase about assumptions has been coined. So many people fall into the trap of not communicating; however, open two-way communication is essential in every relationship. Before getting married, each person should have a fairly accurate idea about what the other person wants and expects from marriage; you should know each other’s personal philosophies and beliefs, goals, aspirations, strengths and weaknesses, family traditions, spending habits, and other likes/dislikes. If you marry someone who needs “me time” at the end of the work today, and you crave togetherness and intimacy, you cannot assume that person will suddenly become extroverted during marriage. In truth, marriage is about bridging two lives into one. It requires compromise and sacrifice. Yet, by assuming something(s) about your partner and what your marriage will be like, you are setting both yourself and your spouse up for disappointment (even failure). Marriage is not only about sharing a bed; rather, sharing yourself, which requires communication.

• Unrealistic expectations. When we love someone, their faults and quirks seem very unimportant. When you agree to share your live with someone, you are not thinking about the fact he leaves dishes piled up in the sink or if she leaves bras hanging on the door knobs. And, truthfully, these quirks are relatively trial in the grand scheme of it all. After all, no one is perfect. We would hope that our loved ones could see past our faults and limitations, so we can look beyond the quirks and see the reasons we love our spouse. Yet, it is important to remember that while marriage is deeply rewarding it does not transform your disorganized boyfriend into a neat freak. What annoys you as a single adult will become more intensified as you share your life and home with another person. Many adults, with this in mind, think that living together before marriage will help identify and remedy this; however, living together is not marriage. Choosing to marry someone is about commitment. Suddenly two individuals are united in a unique and profound bond. Marriage intensifies our feelings for another person. So, if you expect to find that your beloved’s love for golf is going to disappear, and spend all his free time with you—and you alone—you are bringing unrealistic expectations to the marriage. Again, this is where communication becomes vitally important.

• Rescuing or reforming. Remember, you are choosing to marry someone because you love them for who they are—this includes their faults, quirks, limitations, weaknesses, past mistakes, and other habits. If your intended spouse has a drinking problem, you may be able to help them overcome that; however, they must choose to get well because they truly want to be (and not because you are demanding it). Additionally, that person deserves to be married to someone who wants to share their life with them, not necessarily save their life (or change them).

• Differences in religion and culture. Marriage, fundamentally, is about two different people coming together to share their lives. Yet, studies show that religion and culture have significant impacts on relationships. If you were raised in a religious household and wish to raise your children as such, yet your spouse prefers to avoid the subject of religion this will create tension. Religion and culture help shape our ideals, even shape us as people. Marriage is about complimenting each other, and personal philosophies/ideas/beliefs/traditions are key to bridging the gap and fostering uniting between husband and wife.

• Money. Experts say that the main reason marriages fail today are due to financial disputes. While money is not everything, it is certainly an important aspect of our daily lives. We rely on money to pay rent, buy food and clothes, to provide for our children, and perform a host of daily activities. It is essential that intended spouses know the other’s spending habits, thoughts about money and financial planning, and even budget before getting married. Even if each spouse earns their own money, it is important that the couple be open and honest about financial matters. Money management becomes a key part of the partnership; each person has a responsibility to do it together. In marriage, it is no longer about the individual; rather, what is the best for each other.

• Not letting bygones be bygones. It inevitable—there will be difficult times in a marriage. Even the strongest marriages experience trials. Whether it is illness, the death of a child, unemployment, or other unexpected curve balls that life presents, there will be challenges. Remember, when choosing to get married you are agreeing to help carry each other’s burdens. You are committing to stand by each other, even when it is difficult. Love is work. Nothing worthwhile ever came without hard work. Yet, so many couples fall into the trap of dwelling on each other’s faults, or allowing the stresses of life consume them, that they forget to let bygones be bygones. Eventually annoyance leads to resentfulness, which breeds the seeds of anger and hate. Then, one day, this person you once admired and loved turns into someone who rather not associate with at all. Differences are reasons to celebrate the other person; to learn and grow from each other. In that, we become more united. In that, we find more reasons to love the other person.

By learning how to overcome such pitfalls, you can save your marriage. And by learning how you can save your marriage, you can stop divorce. For more information about how to save your marriage, please visit [enter link].

Technorati Tags: How to Stop Divorce, stop, tips to save my marriage

When we date it’s full of actions or affection, words of love and promises for the future. Somehow when we get married those actions, words and promises gradually die off. Then we wonder what happened to our marriage, we use to be so in love and dedicated to each one another. Now we feel like two separate people leading very different lives. Here are some quick ideas to start making love an action rather then a memory.

1- Surprise Your Spouse- Do something for them that they aren’t expecting. For instance make them lunch for work and stick a love note in it. Come home from work with a new chic flick and ask to watch it with her. Go to the office and heart attack the inside of his or her car. Leave a message on their cell phone just saying how much you love and appreciate them.
2- Plan time Together- Each week plan time that is to be spent with just the two of you. There are several things that pull for your time. Some of these include: work, kids, friends, and hobbies. If we want our marriage to be successful, we must make our marriage a priority. We must also make choices that show our spouse that marriage is a priority.
3- Say I love you- It is hard to wear out the words I love you. Don’t let a day go bye where your spouse has to wonder and guess as to whether or not you love them. Just because you said it on the wedding day doesn’t mean you should wait for an anniversary to say it again. Say I love you every day.
4- Don’t be Picky- There will be little things that drive you crazy, frankly get over it. Learn to look past it and move on. Just because he doesn’t put the toothpaste in the right drawer or she doesn’t set the table right doesn’t mean there needs to be a huge battler. Learn to get over the little things and tackle the big things together,
5- Don’t let anything come between your marriage- You should be completely devoted to your spouse. Don’t let anything come between those bonds. When you make something more of a priority than you marriage, you will have problems. Marriage is all about priorities.

Marriage is a daily task. Working on your marriage is never finished. You can never say now that I have marriage, I can focus on my work. Marriage is meant to support you throughout life but it must be the priority or it will never fulfill its role. Make choices that portray to your spouse that they are priority.

Technorati Tags: General Save a Marraige Tips, tips to save my marriage, Ways to Save a Marriage

“Save my marriage!” Once you say this, you’ve already expressed your willingness to put in extra effort in refurbishing your relationship. There are certain signs that warn you about your heading towards a bad relationship. If you work on them before it is too late, you can certainly save your marriage.

Steps On How To Save A Marriage

Communicating

The communication gap is one of the biggest reasons behind marriages falling apart. When you keep your feelings bottled up inside you, they develop into resentment over time. One fine day, you erupt like a volcano, thus destroying your relationship. Also, you start fighting over petty issues due to the frustration that you have developed by not communicating freely with your partner.

No, you need not scream at top of your lungs, “Save my marriage!” What you need to do is remain calm and collected while talking about an issue with your partner. If there’s something you don’t like about your mate, tell him. Never assume that your partner would know how you feel. The trick lies in an intelligent choice of words and being precise.

Listening

Men, take notice! The most common complaint from women is that men don’t listen. Listening is different from hearing. The former involves receiving and assimilating what the other person is saying with regard to their concern. Listen till your partner finishes up and is satisfied with what they say. You might be tempted to interfere or defend. This is the biggest mistake.

Processing

This involves pondering over what your partner said and formulating ways to change your habits to solve the problem.

Resolving

This involves discussing the issue with your partner and expressing a willingness to change yourself. You need to keep your ego aside. There are no ways to save a marriage where there is a clash of egos. So, instead of pleading in despair, “save my marriage”, say “sorry”. This little word has the power to save your marriage!

Imagine this: your partner comes home late. He doesn’t call to inform you about this. You are furious. You expect him to call but you have never said this to him. When he comes back home, you scream at him. Your partner reacts in the same manner. He doesn’t understand what you want. The situation gets so bad over time that you finally have to resort to the cry of “save my marriage!”

Now imagine this: your partner comes home late. He hasn’t called. You remain calm and explain to him that you would feel better if he had called up to say, “Honey, I would be late tonight.” Your partner would understand what you want. He would definitely promise to call you up in the future. You hug and kiss him! The issue is resolved!

Save my marriage? Eh? It already is saved!

Technorati Tags: how to save a marriage, save marriage stop divorce, save my marriage today, save your marriage