“Save my marriage!” Once you say this, you’ve already expressed your willingness to put in extra effort in refurbishing your relationship. There are certain signs that warn you about your heading towards a bad relationship. If you work on them before it is too late, you can certainly save your marriage.

Steps On How To Save A Marriage

Communicating

The communication gap is one of the biggest reasons behind marriages falling apart. When you keep your feelings bottled up inside you, they develop into resentment over time. One fine day, you erupt like a volcano, thus destroying your relationship. Also, you start fighting over petty issues due to the frustration that you have developed by not communicating freely with your partner.

No, you need not scream at top of your lungs, “Save my marriage!” What you need to do is remain calm and collected while talking about an issue with your partner. If there’s something you don’t like about your mate, tell him. Never assume that your partner would know how you feel. The trick lies in an intelligent choice of words and being precise.

Listening

Men, take notice! The most common complaint from women is that men don’t listen. Listening is different from hearing. The former involves receiving and assimilating what the other person is saying with regard to their concern. Listen till your partner finishes up and is satisfied with what they say. You might be tempted to interfere or defend. This is the biggest mistake.

Processing

This involves pondering over what your partner said and formulating ways to change your habits to solve the problem.

Resolving

This involves discussing the issue with your partner and expressing a willingness to change yourself. You need to keep your ego aside. There are no ways to save a marriage where there is a clash of egos. So, instead of pleading in despair, “save my marriage”, say “sorry”. This little word has the power to save your marriage!

Imagine this: your partner comes home late. He doesn’t call to inform you about this. You are furious. You expect him to call but you have never said this to him. When he comes back home, you scream at him. Your partner reacts in the same manner. He doesn’t understand what you want. The situation gets so bad over time that you finally have to resort to the cry of “save my marriage!”

Now imagine this: your partner comes home late. He hasn’t called. You remain calm and explain to him that you would feel better if he had called up to say, “Honey, I would be late tonight.” Your partner would understand what you want. He would definitely promise to call you up in the future. You hug and kiss him! The issue is resolved!

Save my marriage? Eh? It already is saved!

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I was desperate to save my marriage. I’d had enough of the famous statement that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. No matter what planet men and women come from, I knew only one thing – we are on earth and we need to live together in harmony.

With this thought in mind, I decided to find ways to save my marriage. It wasn’t easy. In the process, I realized that men and women are indeed different. But they are equal too. Therefore, both the spouses deserve equal respect and love from each other.

Understanding The Facts

One thing that I learned while trying to save my marriage was that you shouldn’t expect the other person to change in order to suit your needs. Marriage implies two people living together under one roof; but, they still are individuals with their own thoughts and ideas. The problem arises when we, in our fairy tale dream world, thrust unrealistic expectations on our partner. It makes your partner feel as if he or she is not good enough for you.

Your partner usually won’t tell this to you. But, it’s true that they are hurt by your expectations. In my efforts to save my marriage, I often wondered, “What is it that makes love bloom before marriage? And why do people begin to feel suffocated once they tie the knot?” (The person who framed the words “tying the knot” was so right!)

In my pursuit to find ways to save a marriage, I came across the answer to the above stated question. Before marriage, we let our partner free. We didn’t nag them or try to control them. However, after marriage, we tend to think that we’ve possessed them. We begin pointing their habits that annoy us out to them. We expect them to see the world through our eyes. And this is perhaps the biggest blunder committed in a marriage.

How To Save A Marriage?

Men and women think and behave differently. We need to understand each other, not try to change the partner. Oh! Yes, there’s this little word “adjustment.” When this goes away, divorce happens!

Marriage is like a guitar. The partners are like strings, each having different notes. It’s important for the strings to work in co-ordination and harmony with each other in order to produce beautiful music. There are times when you’re unable to produce good music. That doesn’t mean you throw away or smash your guitar. You put in extra efforts to continue producing melodious music. Cherish your marriage as you would cherish your guitar.

So, instead of screaming, “I Want A Divorce!” say, “Save my marriage” before it’s too late!

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